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Feeble Continuance

Chatter
chatter
Clatter
Noises all around me
I'm paying no attention
Cuz I got a matter that needs some addressing

Excuse me SIR

I'm needing to provide some clarity,

Im sorry that you don't feel me,
or my poetry
but its good I realized you didn't understand
before any more time was wasted...

See, a glimpse of the future I tasted
And yes, cold I was
I sure did, I left in a rush
Because trying this [you and I] was a lie
and I {and I} wanted to remain untied
How can you not understand why?
Let's try.....

I want a being that feels me from inside out
That doesn't want to constantly scream and shout
I want someone to ask me to sing them to sleep
To read them a poem
so my voice can give them saccharine dreams

On that level you will never feel me..

And to the one that did,
I still see you when I close my lids
I still feel the pain, of assuming those feelings were not reciprocated

So to him..

Im sorry...
I didn't want to fight...
It may not be the same for you,
but it did cause me to lose sleep at night

If you felt my friendship was fake,
it was not intended for you to feel that way
I thought I showed it loud and clear
I mean, we did have our solo time,
Sometimes I'd hit your late night line...
because your voice I wanted to hear
I would occasionally stay to hang...
as your presence I wanted to feel near

Trust when I say, it was heart felt
When it all went down,
I called you everyday,
just to see how your heart felt,
trying to help with your emotional well

As a being I thought you'd see I was trying....
it hurts for you to say I was lying....
To say that a friend I didn't try to be
but, really.....how often did you ever reach out for me?
Can't u see?

Being around you,
I can't help the yearn for it

That's a warning to keep it where it lay
drop out completely
You say you don't get me..
Don't worry,
I don't even get T,
How could you say...
I stuck around just to throw it in your face?
That was not the case,
but time I won't waste, trying to convince
It would be a race in a maze ain't either of us gonna win
Granted....I didn't stay in "that way" for long
but, I felt I didn't belong,
you know.....
In your bed or by your side...
I wasn't what was on your mind...
So.....I.....was just trying to be respectful,
And give your own heart time to heal

You may be half right, I was scared of our possible truth �
Yet, by then....
I wasn't sure what I wanted with you
All that confusion and hurt you put me through....

I get it, you're hurt and mad,
my demeanor was crude, sometimes rude
But come on, you didn't expect it?
Was I not supposed to just get over this?
Give me a clue

Im sorry for the misunderstanding
For the crying instead of laughing

I know you hate when I show emotions,
So I'll drown them in an undiscovered �ocean,
instead of showing them in an irrepressible explosion

I didn't know how else to show my devotion...

It seemed like you didn't care
So try I didn't dare

For I hated....

hearing that lack of interest in your voice,

Although it seems now when we randomly �speak,
you've found this rejoice

In the end,
I wasn't sure how you wanted me to be

Look,
I get it,
you say I'm "addicting"

Still.....to rush it again would be...so contradicting,
baby steps is what I need

I'm not yet willing to climb back up that tree
Finally, I'm happy just doing me and being completely in control and free

I don't want to it to be tainted with desperate reacquainted acquaintances

Let me fester in the idea of it

Who knows

Maybe you'll get more in a future spit �

For now, I end this,
..... the wood over the lead on my pencil has split

Written by Lyrical_Aptitude

Published 19th Nov 2016

All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.

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Anonymous

- Edited 9th Jun 2019 1:47pm

19th Nov 2016 7:23am

<< post removed >>

Lyrical_Aptitude

19th Nov 2016 3:39pm

I appreciate you reading me so throughly! My emotions are defiantly announced here. Thank you luv! 💋

Read poems by Lyrical_Aptitude

Re. Feeble Continuance

Uncleslam

19th Nov 2016 9:08am

I know you hate when I show emotions,
So I'll drown them in an undiscovered ocean,
instead of showing them in an irrepressible explosion

So rythmickly right. Sorry for the break it seams your doing better than the fool. Thanks for the read.