The “Phony Catcher” in the Rye

The “Phony Catcher” in the Rye

My fantasy is to catch all the phony`s as they run and play in a huge rye field.
It`s my job to see that the truth is revealed.
To expose the lie…..
To be the “Phony Catcher” in the Rye.

Like for instance, there`s Father Phil who has a fancy for young boys
and yet still leads mass with such grace and poise

Then there`s the guy from the gym who brags to the fellows
of all the women he has banged.
After listening to this dope,
I think most women would have preferred to been hanged

Also, take my friend Jimmy
who claims, that a ruined knee kept him from playing pro ball.
The truth is, none of the pros ever wanted him.
At least not that I can recall

And then there`s the woman on her cell phone,
talking much too loud, and boasting of all the men who have proposed.
But no-one wants to marry a woman who can`t keep her legs closed

So, to all you phony`s of the world
I`d like to propose a toast…..
to “where in the hell is Holden Caulfield when I need him most!”

brazzoli 2/14/10

Written in honor of J.D. Salinger
January 1, 1919 – January 27, 2010