Disaster Master.

Fuck this is fucked, as I slam the door and get out of my truck. My wallets lost, nothing gained and I'm stuck with  feelings of the same. I fall short, I gain little and it gets old, I wish I could fold. I come up, I go down and always almost drown. I don't believe suicide is an answer. But if I could pull the trigger I might take a Chance at her. Something inside me wants to shout out My ideas and run about.
. I seem to let down all those who care. From my mind of mayhem to the walls that Hold me. For all I conquer I lose ground to the beasts that control me. I'm nothing special and nothing to please. Yet who I think I am must be a misconception. I'm a demon to some but to others I walk with angels that are blessing.I am a full blown addict, I'm a victim and a villian, I get low I go manic. Think I love what I do? That's why I must eat more substances than you and your crew. Imagine being a sacrificial being. Imagine it without seeing. I have put my life on the line. Not because its my desire, its because my soul pushes me into that fire. Its as if my soul Is trying to separate itself from my mind and heart. I hear many voices that come from these three parts. I can't help but  try to remember how this shit happened. I can only remember taking off before I suddenly crash landed. I don't blame, and I hardly ever feel sorry. But this gets me down sometimes and fucks with my mind.  Take pride and ride until it outweighs the doubt on the other side. Diagnose me, medicate and redecorate. Forget me, neglect me and desolate. Its just another voice with a different choice. Rambled and scrambled like all the others. Beneath all the love are scars to uncover. May those who wish to believe be blessed and find relief.