deepundergroundpoetry.com
Some Very Good Advice
To my Children:
I am your mother, reason you are here. I am your savior and judgement depends on what I teach you through the years. Let me tell you somethings, about me that I do not hold with pride. Things that I want you to know, some very good advice. I was fifteen when my family broke apart, my father leaving my mother and I, her with a broken heart and me with a broken mind. Nothing in life is to be feared is to only be understood, my father I could never understand and so instead I feared him but now I hate him so. For leaving me in this world, cold and alone. My mother was no saint, even though she would like the think she was. She was an abusive wench, who beat me with a brush. But my life doesn't stop out of house and home, I know that I say that they're are no strangers merely friends you have not yet met. But there is a loophole and it is that, some people want to use you while others want to abuse you. And some rare people will love you, no matter how much you do not want them to. Normal is not something to aspire to, but something to get away from. Because 'Normal' is a setting on a washing machine, and I want you to always tolerate difference. And then during my life, I found love four different times. Once with a girl and three times with guys. Love is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting them enough not to. I trusted too many and too easily and so my heart was always broken and there is nothing that can mend a broken heart or even a split mind. Diagnosis and mental history would tell me that I suffer from manic depression, that is sadly hereditary. And so I may have indeed passed down this curse to you, and so I am very sorry. But I cannot take it back, like anything that I am not proud of that I have done in the past. You would have had another sibling but that was when I was very young and living on the street because my mother threw me out of the house. And so I was taken in by a group of biker chicks, but one of the people was male that hung around all of the time. Getting laid but one of the girls each night. One of these girls was me and I sadly fell in love, but I lost my mind when pregnancy came upon me at age seventeen.
A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on, well this baby was never meant to live because I was living on the street. And the pain and that child, haunt me to this day that I aborted the fetus, told by the father for his own selfish gain. Now many times in my life I have questioned my reason to live, and each time I found another reason to try and end my life. The rope and the knife were already my friends, so this time I tried sleeping pills. But I will skip that and fast forward to the advice, always think before you do something because suicide is not the answer. Nothing in my life made me want to commit suicide more than people's reaction to me trying to commit suicide. So never pick up the pills, the knife, the pistol, or tie a noose because my children, you may not realize it but you have a lot to lose. Because someone wants you to be alive, I know I do. And one day you will meet that someone who will stand by your side and want to be with no matter what. Advice, advice, so much to say and so little time. Actually I have all the time in the world, but I can't tell you too much about me. You'd probably wouldn't believe me. I have done many things that in my life I am not proud. I have done many things that I don't even want to share with you right now. I love you all, from the bottom of my heart. You are my pride, my joy and my reason to live. You give me hope and I will love you even after the day I die. Because you are my children, you are my only real mark in this world. Nothing else matters but what I teach you today, the words that I will say that will mold you into the individuals that you will become and you will be brilliant, smart and loving people. And you will change the world.
Chase the morning, yeild for nothing my loves!
-Forever and always, love your mother.
I am your mother, reason you are here. I am your savior and judgement depends on what I teach you through the years. Let me tell you somethings, about me that I do not hold with pride. Things that I want you to know, some very good advice. I was fifteen when my family broke apart, my father leaving my mother and I, her with a broken heart and me with a broken mind. Nothing in life is to be feared is to only be understood, my father I could never understand and so instead I feared him but now I hate him so. For leaving me in this world, cold and alone. My mother was no saint, even though she would like the think she was. She was an abusive wench, who beat me with a brush. But my life doesn't stop out of house and home, I know that I say that they're are no strangers merely friends you have not yet met. But there is a loophole and it is that, some people want to use you while others want to abuse you. And some rare people will love you, no matter how much you do not want them to. Normal is not something to aspire to, but something to get away from. Because 'Normal' is a setting on a washing machine, and I want you to always tolerate difference. And then during my life, I found love four different times. Once with a girl and three times with guys. Love is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting them enough not to. I trusted too many and too easily and so my heart was always broken and there is nothing that can mend a broken heart or even a split mind. Diagnosis and mental history would tell me that I suffer from manic depression, that is sadly hereditary. And so I may have indeed passed down this curse to you, and so I am very sorry. But I cannot take it back, like anything that I am not proud of that I have done in the past. You would have had another sibling but that was when I was very young and living on the street because my mother threw me out of the house. And so I was taken in by a group of biker chicks, but one of the people was male that hung around all of the time. Getting laid but one of the girls each night. One of these girls was me and I sadly fell in love, but I lost my mind when pregnancy came upon me at age seventeen.
A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on, well this baby was never meant to live because I was living on the street. And the pain and that child, haunt me to this day that I aborted the fetus, told by the father for his own selfish gain. Now many times in my life I have questioned my reason to live, and each time I found another reason to try and end my life. The rope and the knife were already my friends, so this time I tried sleeping pills. But I will skip that and fast forward to the advice, always think before you do something because suicide is not the answer. Nothing in my life made me want to commit suicide more than people's reaction to me trying to commit suicide. So never pick up the pills, the knife, the pistol, or tie a noose because my children, you may not realize it but you have a lot to lose. Because someone wants you to be alive, I know I do. And one day you will meet that someone who will stand by your side and want to be with no matter what. Advice, advice, so much to say and so little time. Actually I have all the time in the world, but I can't tell you too much about me. You'd probably wouldn't believe me. I have done many things that in my life I am not proud. I have done many things that I don't even want to share with you right now. I love you all, from the bottom of my heart. You are my pride, my joy and my reason to live. You give me hope and I will love you even after the day I die. Because you are my children, you are my only real mark in this world. Nothing else matters but what I teach you today, the words that I will say that will mold you into the individuals that you will become and you will be brilliant, smart and loving people. And you will change the world.
Chase the morning, yeild for nothing my loves!
-Forever and always, love your mother.
Published 31st Jul 2011
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