Your left right your left

Sometimes I can still hear it.
Muffled by the ringing in my ears
It's gotten faint throughout the years
But sometimes I can still hear it,
The echoes.
These calluses and scars
Remind me
Of those memories
That are yet too hard
To let go.
Not all wounds show
But I know
Becasue I can still feel them
When in breathe in,
When i breathe in slow.
The fire in my lungs
Still burns
From within
To on my skin
As an almost instinctive plunge
To the ground
When she let's a plate fall.
I,
Can still hear it sometimes,
The echoes
Ricochet through in my brain
Through many forms,
Sometimes in the smell of burning flesh
Holding you in my arms,
Sometimes it's the lies
That you yourself tell.
You will be fine,
You will be fine.
As I get up
and sprint away
Because the echoes
Are still echoing
Being fired my way
So I echoe back.
Calling in the mortars.
Where are the mortars?
I guess just fire back.
If I concentrate hard enough
Crawling through the ringing
I can make out the sound of what's
Boots striking the ground
To a song only selected few know.
"Your left,
Your left,
Your left right!
Your left,
Your left,
Your left right!"
I almost sing it back some days,
"High ho lock and load!"
But I stop myself
Because nobody knows,
What it's like to lose a brother...
And I just,
and i just,
And I just can't seem to forget these colors!
And then I cry
Wondering why
I even ever left that place
When I was away all I could think
Was I can't wait to get home one day
And now I don't tie my boots
Or tuck my pant legs in
I just live in muffled memories
The only place I can find my friends
Because everywhere else is gone,
Or not the same.
See I know they can't sleep well
Like I can't
It's insane
Feeling angry and happy
An then somehow smashing
My phone against the wall
Stare at my gun
wondering,
if this time that's passed
Has been
Anywhere relevant as the time
I spent with my brothers.
I can still hear them sometimes.
Groaning
With hands reaching out for their weapons
But their hands and wrists now seperate
Sometimes I can still hear them
Let out their final breath.
Alone.
Because everyone else has gone
Towards the enemy to return fire.
I can only imagine
Their final moments
We're of a blue skies
and the ringing,
The same ringing
that haunts me still
Today.