One of the Real Ones

i think of you
silly me
it was i who didn't want to see it through
and you who left me to be
i don't want you back
i'm better off alone
but i still have those nights
the aches
where i stare at your face on my phone

we used to think we were so different
together forever
strongest support system eva
fruitless adolescence
how cute
seemingly true

but that shit is over
and i'm feeling lost
i don't know who i am without you
corny it is
to think of forever bliss
with you i turned into something new

i suppressed all my urges
i wasn't so creepy to people
you advised, i grew
into something almost unrecognisable
something more perfect
than who i was
who i am

i was suck
you were my lace
and i your shoe
you occupied my mind
day in
day out
to the point where you were my subconscious
i loved you through and through

one moment you were always around
then the next you were gone
its hard to get over
but its for the best
eased is our stress
we are done with our undramatic mess

i'm happy that you are moving on
live your life
while i try to fix mine
i'll always have a special place for you in my chest
my first real
ex lover
one of those odd ones
for me
for you
i guess we weren't so special after all.