DIsoRienTated

I am.....
i am a daughter
undecided
mind fucked to the brink of life
i am a broken bottle
that eats itself, trying to put back what owned inside
i am tearful but not crying
i taste the teardrop on my lip
and bite it
so it doesnt escape
any further
from the place i scold it to die
i.....i am wanting to dissipate
to be free of this black and white
these thick lines
unmoving time
head banging on clawless hands
that hold everything but a wanted prize
i am... a daughter of God
a sinner of his house
a sinner of life
a female who's knife
seldom cuts it right
dices air
and makes air pies

i am nothing
i am filled with so little
and crave so much
worth more to a third eye
than mine
i am usless and lazy
alert about the wrong things
and hazy
i am hatred of myself
hatred of you

i spit on your grave then i fuck you
i'll hang myself upside down
where my feet wear the crown
because my brain is not soothing
shots from the trigger dont move me

i am secrets
unchosen
not written
or spoken

oh my dear princess....why you need help!
five shrinks wont do you any good
i am a princess
who cant have a prince
its just the way it is
the way it has to be

forever i am
unknowing