Organ Donor

I've always known that what flows through my veins is love
That my heart pumps through me a different kind of blood
And they continuously say "it's in you to give"
I always believed that was the best way to live
And I used to be thankful that I could paint others in its colour
That it would help me see things most never cared to uncover
That it kept me with an open heart as well as an open mind
It never felt like effort to feel compassion or to be kind

But sometimes I get the feeling it's more of a pollution
Like perhaps I have been poisoned and was trapped under delusion
Each tear that leaves its stain brings me to this conclusion
Love taught me to grow but it it's also left me ruined
I burn myself alive when my own tears touch my skin
Yet go out of my mind if I try to keep them in
I look for ways to breathe but oxygen turns to blades
Mutilation and internal self harm that I can't seem to escape

I'd spent years crying for love then found it in me
I knew how good my kind of love felt to receive
So I once thought that it made me worth something of some sort of use
That someone would truly value all the warmth that I produced
But eventually I learned that people are content to just take
Most aren't filled with the desire to give, an ache
And that not everyone wants love as freely as mine flows
I like to swim deep within the current to see where it goes

Foolish to expect partnership on a mutual quest
I'm like every other soul just looking to connect
But the art of surface conversation I have yet to perfect
And very few really want to go straight into depth
And I can embrace my differences but is it really worth the trouble?
When too much difference seems like an ongoing struggle
And when highlights in life become hard to select
Yes maybe they're the ones behind, but I'm the one who gets left

And all I want is for things to be cherished and kept
I tend to remember but with ease they forget
So what am I doing in a world where I'm so out of place?
Did my DNA get miscoded, was there some sort of mistake?
Is it essential to learn to blend and become part of fake?
Because I'm getting tired of trying to show an authentic face
It mostly feels like a complete waste
This beating heart takes a slice of life each time it pulsates

I'll still use my blood to paint and write messages in splatter
If I choose to depart, everyone will know why after
The puzzle pieces of myself I have yet to master
I'm content with that chapter, but can only alone handle so much disaster
And I don't want to become toxic to myself
Nor do I want to cause harm to anybody else
That's why existing heartlessly is something I just cannot do
So if someone out there wants a new heart, you could say I'm dying to give it to you

It has an honest rhythm and feels compassion to a T
Filled with much sincerity and strong degrees of empathy
It often looks for strength and how to maximize its growth
It's tough yet sensitive, needs taking care of and tends to wish to be loved whole
It would be best inside a chest that yearns to feel some deep emotion
Who wants to fix the broken and can put good intentions into motion
Before it ends up killing me I'll hand it over while still alive
A transplant done willingly to help someone emotionally revive