for Whom?

 I don't care
if anyone sees it anymore
because that's all silly
and weird
and hardwired
to take me away from my true intentions
to write
and talk
in a loose way
which I find comfortable

I'm giving up my sacred identity
to please everyone else
like I even notice
if you speak out of turn anymore
it doesn't matter anymore
it doesn't matter much to me

there I said it

I know you're out there
somewhere
right now
reading
and relating
and debating
whether I understand you
or myself
in simpler terms

but I tell you truths
so I don't have to

Revel in the fact
that it's not for you
and it's always silly
and probably for no one in particular
I guess
I suggest
writing to be therapeutic
and indifferent

try it

But I suggest
that you request
to know my true motivations
behind words
because you invest
your free time
to reading them aloud
in your head

anonymously amused
and bemused
by mental meanderings
I appreciate the time you take

I've been around
enough to know
that this time
It's not for you
or anyone really
but it's for me
and my quiet indecision
to reflect reason
unto myself

to observe myself
in each line of text
will reflect
me, myself
and my weirder self
and I
in an open
more pleasant sort of way
which i daftly admire

I am getting to know myself
without you
with no specific audience
I find
with an open mind
I can truly play the game
I can truly mix up words
and reach realizations about my sanity
I can reject intellectual vanity
but for whom?