Truce

It did not appear slowly, like the first rays of sunlight. It was there, suddenly - like a car crash on the inside of my skull. I was scared, and I did not want to admit to it, because I didn't want to be labeled as "one of those". To be put in a box where people could lift the lid every once in a while, and throw some sympathy down to me when they felt I might need it. To feel better about themselves. I did not want to be looked at with sorrowful eyes and choke on pills. I did not want people to think me weak. So I ignored all the signs. I ignored my mind screaming every morning when I woke up.  I ignored the tiredness, as I feel drained for energy - even though I was only two minutes into a whole day. I got up, even though every bone in my body were aching, and I would show my mother that everything was fine 'Have a nice day, bye'. But on the days it was at the worst I would tell a petty lie, and then collapse into the bed again, pleading my head to stay silent for just a while. My heart would ache and beat so heavily that I feared it might break. Sometimes I wish it would.