Free

Getting clean
Been on the wagon for nearly 2 months
Trying to see the green
But maybe trying to see the other side isn't enough
Maybe this all was a big bluff
I told you I would get clean
You said I'd be back before the first month
But the progress I've made is pushing me to persevere
I took that second job as a cashier
Still trying to stay busy
Still dealing with some withdraw
Some nights are spent crying
And plunging my fist into the drywall
Forget your words
Its been 2 months and I still have cravings
For a sweet solace
Or someone or something that can save me
From this hell
The razor is a new addition
To my small group of friends
Meet Prozac
Often times your can find her with gin
My emotions are out and in
Some days I feel fine
And others I contemplate burrowing a bullet in the confines of my mind
Your words still burn
And I'm trying desperately to take away their sting
But they remind of something I desperately want to feel on my lips
Something that sends shivers through my body and fingertips
Drunk on the thought
Trying to drown it in this vodka I brought
The pills are doing nothing and
The razor cuts deeper and deeper by the day
I'm at 3 months
And its getting hard to keep the demons at bay
The gun is a familiar taste in my mouth
Cold and metallic
It beckons me
With the possibility of being free
The cravings are stronger than I'll ever be
No point in stalling
Whats inevitably
To happen
Here's to going out with a bang
Here's to forgetting you and the pain
Finally clean
You were my drug
And I was addicted
Addicted to your twisted love