Planary Age of the Dinosaur

Hey, how is everyone? What goes on in your crazy life? What are you feeling? Are you losing your shit or holding it together? What are you learning? What are you into? What are you becoming?
 
So I’ve been taking things in by my particular approximation of senses, thinking things over.
 
It's good to be here with you again. It is good to share in this shadow of your happenings and interests. I look at things you post or send me. I enjoy them and you. I have no complaints.
 
We had a nice sit the other night in class, discussed mindfulness, present moment awareness, critical thinking, situation appropriate action, reaction and acceptance, in times when it is called for. We move from opening discussion into a bit of calisthenics, loosen the joints, tense and soften the muscles, get blood flowing, molecules vibrating at higher frequencies.
 
We meditate upon mindfulness. This is approached as a focus upon breath and to meet anything that steps into the field of awareness. Acknowledge it. Allow it to move through, bring the focus back to breath.
 
..
 
Sometimes we aren't clicking or impasses are reached. Sometimes there is suffering and death. The burden can be too much. Sometimes, things just suck.
 
Through mindfulness I have found humility is a true level, present moment awareness, a true lens, compassion, a true umbilical to the web work of life which we are designed to inhabit and contribute toward. True not as an absolute certainty, but as sound in measure. Met with trial and much error, learned by guesswork, me droogies, and arrived at understandings of what I am becoming as my thoughts and actions are changing.
 
A single focused vector
An intention
A balanced range of approximation
Observation, reflection and comparison
In the planary age of the dinosaur
My purpose holds
Discovery
 
Didn't say much most of class, but chimed in when the conversation was searching for the words to describe the above and I offered, "Be present with the suckness." And that was received with general mirth and consensus approval. One is glad to be of service.
 
We talked about brain structure and function, the effects of stressors on the neocortex, limbic system and the lower lizard brain.
 
Discussed trauma, ptsd and redundant neural pathways that continue to influence thinking and disposition long after the circumstances which called for them have subsided. Crises that call for a retreat into the primal nature and survival instinct, where the upper range of higher reasoning is severely limited.
 
It all came together, was by far the most interesting session I had attended, in terms of discussion.
 
A few spoke of current stressors they are facing. A newcomer, an elderly gentleman with a leathery, dour expression, discussed his depression and lack of faith in any religious or philosophical doctrine after traveling at length to care for a friend who was being erased by Alzheimer's. He bore a look of long suffering. He said if he had stayed any longer, he would have been overcome, to madness and a despair. No words for such things. Just listened to him.
 
Another discussed a similar experience, caring for his elderly father with the same condition. Told us that this man who raised him and made him the man that he is, is hardly there anymore, is often an empty shell. Spoke of pain, frustration, despair, disillusionment and anger.
 
I thought about it, silent within myself. Long do we hold to this secret heart of pain, at the crisis core.
 
I suffer paroxysms. This is unfortunate and sometimes just lands on whoever is there, wrong time and place. You just ain't my jot of mustard, at the moment, other way around or it's mutual. "My mind has drawn a blank! And I think I'll smash your face!" - Alex from A Clockwork Orange.
 
Other times, I am a listening ear and glad to receive the same in turn, see it resound, rebound and return in the depths of a wise heart. We help each other to regroup, recharge, and have a new relationship to the day, its obstacles and each other.
 
It's often enough to be there. The desire to give advice is an obstacle I run into with some frequency. It's not like I know better, it's just something to share. Sometimes it's best just to say, I'm here. I hear you. I may not understand, but I care. Sometimes it's best to say nothing. Just be glad to be together.
 
..
 
A mindfulness sit as I have been instructed is guided meditation with focus upon breath. Experiences continually come to mind, thoughts, concerns, feelings. I recite poems or chapters in my head. I feel surges and echoes of emotions. I acknowledge them and return to breath.
 
We are encouraged to examine ourselves, face what is found there, acknowledge it and stretch into what is uncomfortable to experience by increments. This is a central principle in Buddhist practice as it has been instructed me and in my study thus far, I find these personal truths, at the moment, to be self-evident.
 
I have no complaints. Except, sometimes, that the only constant is change or someone absconded with something I was sore for the loss of. My heart, my dignity. It's alright, now. Living moment to moment with you. I try to make amends where I stumble, not with grand gestures. With better judgment and amended behavior.
 
I hope that the above has been of some interest to you in consideration. Above all else, know this.
 
I am here
I hear you
And I may not understand
But I care
 
..
 
Planary Age of the Dinosaur
Or
My purpose holds
By
Daniel Christensen
 
Copyright © 2016 by Daniel Christensen. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher.