deepundergroundpoetry.com
Rest, less...rain
I don't sleep, therefore I don't dream
Rem less realm of relentless rain
You'd think they'd make a drain for such a day
Sounds hypnotic from time to time i can't complain...
Soothing patter of running thoughts
Overthinking what you need, don't mind if you get lost in thought
Distraction washes outlined carcasses attempting rest only to toss
unfortunate for us because the carvings permanent inside your thoughts
Hopes turn to failure, and some failures lose hope
The less hope a failure has, damn shame if they fail the hopeless path
Sure the problems temporary, but some of us want a permanent solution
Sure I feel like a bit of a loser, but beggars can't be choosers right?
Rem less realm of relentless rain
You'd think they'd make a drain for such a day
Sounds hypnotic from time to time i can't complain...
Soothing patter of running thoughts
Overthinking what you need, don't mind if you get lost in thought
Distraction washes outlined carcasses attempting rest only to toss
unfortunate for us because the carvings permanent inside your thoughts
Hopes turn to failure, and some failures lose hope
The less hope a failure has, damn shame if they fail the hopeless path
Sure the problems temporary, but some of us want a permanent solution
Sure I feel like a bit of a loser, but beggars can't be choosers right?
Published 21st Jul 2016
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21st Jul 2016 3:07am
Oh wow.
"Rem less realm of relentless rain
You'd think they'd make a drain for such a day": The alliteration and effortless rhyme incorporated within a running sentence is amazing, I always love when poets have a rhyme mid-sentence like that, and you did it wonderfully, it didn't feel forced at all.
Also, the line at the end about the problem being temporary but wanting a permanent solution really spoke for itself, you didn't outright say what the problem was and it allowed the reader to infer, but it conveyed its meaning well. Overall, I find this poem to be a nice one, if sad, and definitely one I'll read again. :)
"Rem less realm of relentless rain
You'd think they'd make a drain for such a day": The alliteration and effortless rhyme incorporated within a running sentence is amazing, I always love when poets have a rhyme mid-sentence like that, and you did it wonderfully, it didn't feel forced at all.
Also, the line at the end about the problem being temporary but wanting a permanent solution really spoke for itself, you didn't outright say what the problem was and it allowed the reader to infer, but it conveyed its meaning well. Overall, I find this poem to be a nice one, if sad, and definitely one I'll read again. :)
