deepundergroundpoetry.com
Different This Time
I have knots in my stomach,
But I will not let them show
Especially out in the open
And to you. I have been
Vulnerable with you before
And I will not do that again.
You popped back into my
Life and I am trying to not
Rush into this like I did
The last time. I want you
To mean something to me
Like you did before. Let this
Time be different. This time
We do not have to let people
Know what we do and that
Will only be between us.
But I will not let them show
Especially out in the open
And to you. I have been
Vulnerable with you before
And I will not do that again.
You popped back into my
Life and I am trying to not
Rush into this like I did
The last time. I want you
To mean something to me
Like you did before. Let this
Time be different. This time
We do not have to let people
Know what we do and that
Will only be between us.
Published 15th Jul 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 4
reads 686
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
15th Jul 2016 7:59am
Dangerous game hoping for change. I'd take out the capitals, apart from after a full stop, as it would give this more weight. 'Let this time be different' I think is too meek for what you actually desire, perhaps 'It has to be different this time' or something stronger, with a little more pang of doubt. Anyway, all of this is up to you, I came because I like the topic matter and I admire you for being brave and throwing it out there.
15th Jul 2016 7:08pm
15th Jul 2016 5:44pm
I loved Poppy's technical critique and would heed it.
That being said, I have learned the more people involved in your affairs
the more disastrous it can be for various reasons I won't divulge.
Sometimes things done in discretion are justified; at other times,
hiding the flame from the oxygen it breathes means it's good as
dead. Choose carefully....
That being said, I have learned the more people involved in your affairs
the more disastrous it can be for various reasons I won't divulge.
Sometimes things done in discretion are justified; at other times,
hiding the flame from the oxygen it breathes means it's good as
dead. Choose carefully....
15th Jul 2016 7:07pm
Thank you so much. And I actually just heard from the person who this poem is about. I appreciate your insightful feedback.
