So Maybe I'm Not Such A Nice Guy...

i used to be so sure that i was a good person
i conformed to peoples expectations and
tried to never ruffle a feather
then i realized that i was faking
and my behavior was an act
truthfully i was manipulating
i would be nice so that people would like me
i never expressed my truth if i thought that it would hurt
my carefully cultivated image
i tried to change and speak my truth
become my authentic self
and i did pretty well
but somehow i held on to the conviction
that i was what i would call a good person
what ever errors or inclinations
now i find that my back up girl is getting married
where not so long ago i could curl my finger
and she'd jump on my cock
now I've lost that consolation.
the worst part is that now I've lost it
i like the power I've had over her
i liked that i could beckon
hold someone under my sway
hell i didn't even want her most of the time
but i had her
she was mine
sometimes it's just introspection that points out
that we are not who and what we think we are