deepundergroundpoetry.com
Alone
Another sleepless night alone
staring out my window
hoping for something
to fill the emptiness in me
I cry so hard I can't breathe
the tears keep on choking me
thoughts are raging through my mind
of whether I should live or die
I have no reason to go on
I try my hardest to stay strong
nothing in life ever comes easy
but how did it get so topsy-turvy?
Woke up the next morning
memories buzzing inside my head
of a dream that felt so real to me
saw you standing there beside me
I said “hello”, you said “goodbye”
never gave me a reason why.
staring out my window
hoping for something
to fill the emptiness in me
I cry so hard I can't breathe
the tears keep on choking me
thoughts are raging through my mind
of whether I should live or die
I have no reason to go on
I try my hardest to stay strong
nothing in life ever comes easy
but how did it get so topsy-turvy?
Woke up the next morning
memories buzzing inside my head
of a dream that felt so real to me
saw you standing there beside me
I said “hello”, you said “goodbye”
never gave me a reason why.
Published 12th Jun 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 6
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
27th Jun 2016 11:27am
This invokes sadness within me. I unfortunately can relate to this feeling. Nice write.
27th Jun 2016 7:38pm
Thank you for reading it.
Always remember you are never alone. I hope things get better for you soon. :)
Always remember you are never alone. I hope things get better for you soon. :)
28th Jun 2016 1:48pm
Thanks for the write. Per your forum request here is some honest feedback.
This poem is an unoriginal take on an unoriginal topic. In a very cliche way it seems to try and capture the feeling of love and loss, emotions that everyone that is old enough to read this poem would have experienced in some way. So that being said, I find the topic is boring and underdeveloped, but could have been made exciting by the way you write about experiencing these strong emotions. Unfortunately, i do not feel the writing style was interesting either. the rhyme scheme and descriptions seem rather childish. However, I do think that the overall structure was coherent enough to get me through to the end.
keep writing!
This poem is an unoriginal take on an unoriginal topic. In a very cliche way it seems to try and capture the feeling of love and loss, emotions that everyone that is old enough to read this poem would have experienced in some way. So that being said, I find the topic is boring and underdeveloped, but could have been made exciting by the way you write about experiencing these strong emotions. Unfortunately, i do not feel the writing style was interesting either. the rhyme scheme and descriptions seem rather childish. However, I do think that the overall structure was coherent enough to get me through to the end.
keep writing!
10th Jul 2016 4:10pm
Re-reading it, I have to admit this wasn't my best. Haha!
Thank you very much for taking the time to read it and for your honest review, I greatly appreciate it.
Thank you very much for taking the time to read it and for your honest review, I greatly appreciate it.
20th Apr 2020 1:13pm
