Suicide

I am a ticking time bomb.
I have my note written
and I know exactly what I'm going to do.
I picked out a date,
a location,
and a time.

In preparation I've ceased taking my medication,
increased my alcohol intake drastically
and began smoking a pack a day just to keep my hands steady.
Taking prescription pain killers to catch some shut eye when I've nothing better to do.
I've stopped eating completely and lost 25 lbs...
Motivation is out the window and never returning.

There is only one way out of this life.
One way out of this hell.
One solution to end my problems.

I am far beyond the point of caring and rational thought.
My mind is made up.

Sometimes I wish things would have turned out differently... though, this has always been my fate.
I've just been too much of a coward and tried to avoid it my entire life.