Spring Cleaning

I always used to say that I couldn't live without you
I couldn't even imagine a day where you wouldn't cross my mind
Even when we were okay and on good terms, you still caused me a lot of pain
But I always brushed it off
Because
I truly loved you and thought it was my fault
For angering you or making you unhappy

But now I see
After 10 months of pure pain
And misery
And thinking that it was all my fault that my world came crashing down around me
That you never even loved me in the first place
Not even as a friend

And while the days are longer than ever before and the nights are lonely
I would much rather spend my time with people who treat me like a human being
Because
I am worth it
I am my own person, separate from you
I give myself permission to live
I give myself permission to let go of you
I am free

I give myself permission to heal
I give myself permission to move on

And even though you hurt me in ways I didn't think were possible
I forgive you