nothing is flawless

 
Did you idolise me?
did you hold me up on a pedestal?
did you only love me when I was wild and free?

Because when darkness seeps
through the fairy light of my illusion
you’re nowhere to be found

Your silence is like death in my veins
and I’m a million stories away from reality
when the only truth I want is you

Did I live too hard?
did I live hard enough?
did I break the portrait you loved
when I trusted you enough
to let you see the shadows in my smile?

Because I’m not the bright lights
and blue hair of days gone by
I’m not the adventure I painted
on your dashboard
out on the backroads
far from the places that bring me down

And I don’t know if you’re coming back
the silence of your car still beating loud
in my ribcage
when all I wanted was the music
you inked onto my soul
with the unspoken promise of maybe, one day

So tell me
did you idolise me?
did you hold me up on a pedestal?
did you only love me
when you thought I was wild and free?

© Indie Adams 2016