Uphill Battle

On some days I drown in my own sorrow
And cannot see the view from the top.
On other days I want to borrow

Someone else’s smile. I do not want to drop
To my knees and send another prayer to make
It through another day. All I want to do is stop

The sadness, loneliness, and ache
In my heart. Just for one moment
I want to be able to forget my mistake.

I have paid dearly for it all. Release the brunt
Of the fall that has landed on me. I deserve
A happy life. I know that life has been too blunt

For my own liking. I miss the arching curve
Of life. Do not mistake this uphill battle
As my weakness. I am used to this swerve

Over the bumps. Some days life feels so dull.
On other days life tries to send me over the edge.
I miss the days when my mom would lull

Me when I could not fall asleep at night. The ledge
Is tempting to fall off of since it is right there.
I do not want to stuck in the hedge

Of the unknown. Life is trying to wear
Me down as I go on this ongoing trek and journey
I do not want to left out in the open and feel bare.

Although I have been down on my knee
Before I do not want to be there again.
I am not letting anything stand between me,

The view, and seeing the light. Just know that when
I want something I get into my mode of Zen.