Adrenaline.

your like a fucking gasp of rip-tide hollowed-out pure-form energy
that is injected into my drive and makes me try to tear every nerve from my body
even when your miles away i think of you
and i can actually feel you [ [pulsating] ] in the arteries of my neck

your like a pleasant drone in the blue-black bruised prefrontal cortex of my head
that i get from too many throat-rasping plant-burning smoke-filled hits
i hate how you look at me like i'm saint with my knuckles still split open
from the night when i fought with a friend as old as the scars on my ribs

i hate your smile [because you don't care that i could tear you apart]
i hate your eyes [because every time you blink you make me weaker]
i hate your hair [because it's so fucking ridiculous, so absurdly beautiful]
stop it.
i hate you [i need you]
i hate you [i need you]
i hate you [i need you]

you cleansed me like a small-town sinner in the ruins of a burnt-down church
all the wounds i have come to love are healing and it's ugly, regeneration is ugly
it's like taking all the reasons to hate the world and turning it to life and light
how the callouses on my hands feel like leather compared to yours

i hate how you say your afraid of the dark then you move right through me
like i'm a symphony of (screaming) flutes that make you feel like a goddess reborn
how can you be afraid of spiders and heights but you're not afraid of me
even when everybody else acts like i'm living death [maybe i am, maybe i can]

...

dear girl with porcelain skin and a smile like a life-giving rush of spring air
you looked at me with those green eyes and thought i didn't care
i needed all the houses and heroes burned to the ground
but i'm better now and i'm not afraid to admit i need you around

come back.