I'm sorry

I’m sorry for your creation
your place in life is broken and I’m sorry
you can’t do  anything for yourself and I’m sorry
how you sit and ponder at nothing
your life completely aided by doctors and nurses
all the tests I put you into
when I get annoyed and tell you how I didn’t want you
I’m sorry
you can’t help it
I created you
birthed you
put you into this tilted world
even if I didn’t mean to conceive you
I didn’t mean to put you here
your mutant mutiny
when you would mess up
spill your cup
how I would hit you
yell scream
such a mean theme
run for the bottle as an
escape key
using all of our money to escape the thought
of having to care for you
feeling as blue as your lips
I tried to support you
I’m sorry  
your uncompleted development
represented as mistakes and errors circling
back to the definition of you
the looks and stared we would get
all of the “prayers” and “help” people offered
but you are tied to me as a rock sinking
I tried so hard for you
but you always had that smile
the one perfect composition during your development
the rest was a wreck
all the alcohol and drugs
I consumed while my life driven mistake
was being formed
the thought of abortion to end your suffering
but I will help you
wear this necklace. Thick puzzled itchy
stand on this chair. Wearing deaths scarf
I left you there
hanging
no more doctors or nurses only a grim reaper
the flipped chair under my life changing mistake
creating and reconstructing my best decision
no more mistakes
no more hitting you or locking you up
setting you free of everything
I’m sorry