to big

Weight
Im fat
I cant hide it
It takes years to get over the names I was called
Tubby
Fat ass
In public everyone says its okay
They say Body shaming is bad
But online in closed chats
The names fly like bullets
And In the target in 4th grade
I was the outlier
All the kids were 60 70 lbs
I was 130
I almost fail gym
I couldn’t run a mile in under 10 min
But they could hide behind me in dodge ball
Middle school started and things got worse
My weight was noticed by everyone
Going to school fat was like handing the kids a loaded gun
Wounding my skin with every name
Words pushing me closer and closer to the edge


I fell
I fell in to depression
Anxiety
And a black hole
The world obviously had no room for someone my size
It was made vary clear
I tried cutting my self down to size but I was caught
I moved from thinning my wrist to my thighs
Cut by cut maybe I would look belter
But it didn’t work I needed more