Unnatural

When the breathing starts to feel unnatural.
When the beating of your heart doesn't seem real,
when normal movement feels like floating like a feather;
or sinking like a rock.
It feels unnatural.
Losing grip on the senses,
first speech, and then smell.
Later, sight and hearing.
The inability to piece together words and speak them,
but then when paper and pen is presented,
a waterfall flows from the fingers.
Losing all feeling is unnatural.
Losing sight of time and days is strange.
This feeling that is brewing is surely not good.
But what can be done when the brain and hands are all left working.
There is no explainable reason.
Start out feeling weird and it doesn't seem too different.
It's like being tired but full of energy.
Dry throat and shaking limbs.
Dreaming with the eyes open.
These things flow unnaturally
giving the weirdest feeling,
simply 'lucid dreaming'
what isn't solved by drinking
stuck in some endless thinking
processing is no longer something
working to just wake up in the morning
morbid and hateful to human beings
sickly in the time of waking
too tired to finish writing
from the mind slowly slipping,
these lines begin repeating,
all the same with different wording
why is it tonight nothing is working
pointless hours into complaining
endless days with similar comings
loops that go around repeating
when the parents think the kids are sleeping
was it mentioned these lines are repeating
repeating
same words
different meanings
or is it different words
same meanings
jumbled sentences confusing
off topic too quickly
but that's what the poems all about
everything happening unnaturally