Despise

No wonder I can't stand you
I know I spend a lot of time online
But when our child talks to me, needs something or wants to play
I look at her, talk to her get her what she needs
or wants or play with her Unlike you who sits in the corner online
Just saying yea okay
Then do nothing
Then you wonder why she's crying
She asked you to play
You said okay then
Ignored her
God I despise you
You've promised so much and delivered on little
You've belittled me
To the point
I have no confidence in myself
Faking smiles
And pretending all is fine
I lost myself a long time ago
You took me away from me
And I want me back
How do I love myself again?
How do I move on after 15 years?
How do I tell a toddler
I can't stay here anymore?