force feed me hate

There's nothing we can really do
In this life we choose
We're all messed up and turned around
and I just don't want to lose
Everything I've changed
Inside this evil brain
You think I'm bad now
Well
you didn't play my game
And your opinion
don't mean a thing
Not to me
her
or you really
We're all just God damn fools
Acting like we know
How and what to do
But your just lost as me
So stop being a fuckin tool
One that's always used
Thrown away like you
And your dreams
you will never live
because there is nothing left of you
your the skin and the snake has shed you
left you open and raw
flapping your jaw like it means something to me
I don't even mean nothing to me
you cant even scare me
offend me ?
highly unlikely
I take my friends seriously
and that's about the only thing
go ahead threaten me
I laugh hysterically
staring right thru your face
your a muse to me
I've seen inside bodies
I've seen rape and murders
shit that would make the devil shudder
it was my bread and butter
and I was force fed violence daily
before I was 7
my teachers were worried
he's isolated
full of anxiety
they said to my mommy
you want to tell me something?
no he's just quite
so leave me and my family
alone with your concerns
he's mine and not your problem
I'll teach him how to learn
but I taught myself everything
even thru the beatings I was learning
how to feel nothing
you think your tuff?
shut the fuck up
I got beat by a 175lb Aryan brother
from san Quentin prison
with his bar-bending card from prison
meaning you benchpress 350
and that fuck would beat me
breaking me
IV'S in hospitals I frequently seen
thru swollen eyes
numbed by morphine
cracked ribs it's hard to breath
when I was 16 that was the end for me
i ran terrified from home swearing and crying
I never went back
never called in fact
for 7 years
once my mother tried to contact me
I said don't look for me
she said
I'm your mother your blood to me
i said really
ok come find me
because I do wanna see you
to choke the life out of you
and fuckin murder you bitch
come to my door and I'll nail your tits
right to the siding
you slut junkie trick
you never loved me
and never stopped anything
for me or my sister
so burn in hell
cuz I'll see you there mother fucker
my dad was an outlaw
they called him chainsaw
Sargent of arms
is what his title was
he was murdered when i was 9
just before turning ten
and when he died
I hated him
i didn't cry at his funeral
I'm heartless I know to
I hated him for leaving without apologizing
like I thought it would happen
I wanted to die
why does he get peace in heaven?
I couldn't understand that then
why did god choose him
I was praying every night
for him to end me and my pain
but he gets to leave ?
he's in heaven
I was fucking pissed
but I was young
and didn't understand
but now I know all men pay for their sins
in hell
or in heaven
and mines just beginning