Truth & Lies -- Rant

Do you want to know
The story of my life?
It’s a daydream of pleasure
Until you look behind my eyes
They’re big and blue
Wide and bright
It’s it first thing people notice
Beautiful and light
It’s funny in a way
They see what they want to see
My beautiful eyes
What they don’t see is all the lies
The lies
The memories
The scars of the past
The pain I’ve conflicted upon myself
It’s a good thing they don’t realize
If they did I’d be forced to answer a question
That I don’t know the answer to
Why
Why’d you do it
What was so bad in your life that made you feel this way
Why don’t you get help
Why don’t you tell the truth
The truth
That’s what’ll cause the most damage
That’s what’ll turn everything chaotic
Truth is almost as damaging as lies
However, this idea of lying
Of truth being harmful
It’s always going to be something society won’t accept
Because yes, truth is good
Truth is good if everybody tells the truth
Truth is good if everybody is understanding
But this is not the case
People in general lie
And if you don’t accept that it leaves you vulnerable
You can then be deceived, tricked, gullible
So how does this have to do with my life
I used to be gullible, I still am in many ways
But lately the lies all around me are unfolding
I catch people in their schemes
And I realize that I’ve been lied to for the majority of my life
Don’t worry I’m not upset about most of it
Lies are necessary to keep to keep harmful things away
Away from those who are too young to know the truth
But now that I see the lies
Now that I know the truth
I wish I didn’t
I wish I could feel like a kid again
That’s the weird part
Being a kid yet not feeling like you are one
It’s easy to lose yourself
Feeling like an outcast who just doesn’t belong
I can’t wait to grow up and be on my own
I’m hoping I’ll find to sense of clarity
Hoping I’ll feel like a part of something
But at the same time I’m terrified
What if it’s the same
People lying constantly around me
Me seeing right through it and pretending I don’t
Pretending
Oh I’ve gotten good at that
I needed to
If I didn’t I’d be a complete wreck at the moment
See my life has been through a world of distortion
From loving parents to divorce
Happiness to depression
Confidence to low-self esteem
Outgoing to shy
And in this so much confusion has risen
About what’s wrong and right
If wrong and right matter
About meaning and purpose
If there is one at all
It’s almost as if everything we are taught when younger
Means nothing at all as we get older
If you look at it, kids are lied to all the time
They can’t handle what the truth holds
They are not old enough or wise enough to understand
If we told kids the truth all the time they would grow up cold
Kids are meant to have hope and imagination, love and laughter
But this has all been taken from me
I am told I responsible, wise beyond my years
And even though I’ve been lied to a lot
I realized a lot of truth
I was told a lot of truth over the course of the years
Because I am “wise and responsible”
So who can blame me now that I am cold
Cold, quiet and with my heart shut in a box
For protection of course
Pretending helps with this too
It helps keeps other safe from knowing the truth
I withhold the truth to protect them
They can not handle it, just like kids can’t handle the truth of the real world
They shouldn’t have to
I lie so that they still have hope, love and laughter
So do not blame me because I have lied to you
Thank me for keeping the truth from you
You deserve to be happy, to have imagination and hope
Because the truth
The true of my life
Of how I view my life
The truth of what goes on in my mind
It is much worse