deepundergroundpoetry.com
color of heat
his violent mouth
stain my lips
cherry red
evening falls
sweetly as he
breathes my name
stain my lips
cherry red
evening falls
sweetly as he
breathes my name
Published 25th Feb 2016
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comments 5
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25th Feb 2016 5:54pm
I particularly like how that violent mouth in the first line becomes tender by the end. This may be short but it's truly fine work Tommie. The color of heat is pretty cool.
26th Feb 2016 4:44pm
26th Feb 2016 6:50am
26th Feb 2016 4:46pm
9th Aug 2017 3:51am
There's just enough here to tell a story, and to evoke a memory. It's nicely done. I like that "cherry red" colors both your lips and the falling evening.
In your second line "stain" should be "stains".
In your second line "stain" should be "stains".
