hurting me

is it self-medication
or just a light switch that never sticks
my temptation lies in wait for me to
turn out the lights and terrify my sleepless mind

promise i won't sink and wake up
when i drink i have to get fucked up
because it's in my blood
and no one will punish me for it

wouldn't i be better off if i could sleep alone
with nothing in my thoughts?
telling you it's lust or even less
wish i was as loveless as i pretend

but i'd get so fucking cold
without you in my head to warm me up
i'm angry and bitter and she's the bitch i pin it on
feeling sorry for myself won't draw your love like blood

pull me out because i think i'm losing myself
in cheap red wine tonight i don't fight
hit me to stop this because that's all i ever wanted
all i ever wanted from you

one day
no one will hurt me if i lose control
no one will hurt me if i break the rules
no one will hurt me if i lose control
no one will hold me if i break the rules

no one will hold me, no one will hurt me
you're hurting me

no one will hold me, no one will hurt me
you're hurting me