deepundergroundpoetry.com
*Crown* Re to RTJ
Hand me your crown
Pass me it down
lend me what’s your’s and I’ll pay you with pounds
Purchase the throne with reverb and effects that we create and gave it all back to the crowd
steal from the rich
give back to me
lend me your shoulder and your ears of apathy
Show me the ways of the righteous
Hold up your flame to ignite us
burn away misery, frozen in mystery
give me everything that you can give to me
Make it worthwhile, the use of money never was versatile
Spend it on objects from foreign lands and fancy textiles
Charge them the best price and keep the world buying
advertisements continue the lying
Selling you everything that is irrelevant
Sell it to anyone you think you’re better than
Give them a world of technology
Ignore how it’s bothering the ordering of the following
Sanity is rapidly vanishing damaging the planet
Imagining life with no empathy for it’s own only for the battery
Worry no more, I’ll take the lead
Bury it in another man’s head
Send them away from here to a new place
promise they’ll never mislead you again
They become dead, I become death
You play with our air, we’ll take your breath
Remove the fallacy in all you’re imagining
replace the characters with people instead
Watch each person you just created make their way up from the degraded
onto the A-list, the top of the pyramid
Amidst the noise and drama
cleanse the big cats with accurate karma
send them to places they’ve never been to and getting back’s only made harder
the harder they try
The harder it is to reply
Send them a message to not mess with the village
we stand strong alone with the tribe
Rip the whole system apart from inside
Generalise, lead an army of stereotypes you pushed to one side
But didn’t disarm them of fight
Couldn’t disarm them of life
it’s written on parchment, the deal has been sparked, and signed in my blood on the line
Pass me it down
lend me what’s your’s and I’ll pay you with pounds
Purchase the throne with reverb and effects that we create and gave it all back to the crowd
steal from the rich
give back to me
lend me your shoulder and your ears of apathy
Show me the ways of the righteous
Hold up your flame to ignite us
burn away misery, frozen in mystery
give me everything that you can give to me
Make it worthwhile, the use of money never was versatile
Spend it on objects from foreign lands and fancy textiles
Charge them the best price and keep the world buying
advertisements continue the lying
Selling you everything that is irrelevant
Sell it to anyone you think you’re better than
Give them a world of technology
Ignore how it’s bothering the ordering of the following
Sanity is rapidly vanishing damaging the planet
Imagining life with no empathy for it’s own only for the battery
Worry no more, I’ll take the lead
Bury it in another man’s head
Send them away from here to a new place
promise they’ll never mislead you again
They become dead, I become death
You play with our air, we’ll take your breath
Remove the fallacy in all you’re imagining
replace the characters with people instead
Watch each person you just created make their way up from the degraded
onto the A-list, the top of the pyramid
Amidst the noise and drama
cleanse the big cats with accurate karma
send them to places they’ve never been to and getting back’s only made harder
the harder they try
The harder it is to reply
Send them a message to not mess with the village
we stand strong alone with the tribe
Rip the whole system apart from inside
Generalise, lead an army of stereotypes you pushed to one side
But didn’t disarm them of fight
Couldn’t disarm them of life
it’s written on parchment, the deal has been sparked, and signed in my blood on the line
Published 24th Jan 2016
| Edited 28th May 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 5
reads 750
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
24th Jan 2016 1:52pm
I could defiantly see this as a rap/punk song. I actually spoke it aloud, and it's got a good beat to it, the way I read it.
I really like how it's got a communal feel: "We stand strong alone with the tribe..."
But it's also adversarial:Amidst the nose and drama, cleanse the big cats with accurate karma."
A little amity; a little ire. This is my jam. Look forward to more!
A.I.
I really like how it's got a communal feel: "We stand strong alone with the tribe..."
But it's also adversarial:Amidst the nose and drama, cleanse the big cats with accurate karma."
A little amity; a little ire. This is my jam. Look forward to more!
A.I.
27th Jan 2016 5:25pm
Many thanks, this is a rap and I intend to write more with similar vibes, I'm just looking for a hard beat to rap it to and I'm golden. Do you have any criticism to add? Anything you think could be improved? Because I know I have lots of ideas on how to improve it but I don't know if I should keep this the same and add my ideas into another piece of work, or try to iron out all of the little kinks. Again, though, thank you for the response, much appreciated.
2nd Feb 2016 10:27am
I think it's fine. My personal preference is deep and narrow over shallow and broad. So if I were writing this, I'd write one whole piece about stealing from the rich, another about the 'village' and so on, then connect them with elusions.
I'd say you're fine keeping it long. If you are going to change it, be mindful of making the connections between ideas explicit. It's easy to get lost when ideas are plentiful.
I know this wasn't helpful, but that's because I don't know your vision. Feel free to message me with particulars.
I'd say you're fine keeping it long. If you are going to change it, be mindful of making the connections between ideas explicit. It's easy to get lost when ideas are plentiful.
I know this wasn't helpful, but that's because I don't know your vision. Feel free to message me with particulars.
3rd Feb 2016 1:15am
9th Feb 2016 11:18pm
Cheers, not sure what beat to rap it to yet but I'm thinking something dark with some twinkly piano pattern or something, haven't really got that far with it yet, aha.
