the fear

i kept myself awake again…
i never wanted to close my eyes
i was afraid of my own dreams
because all i have is nightmares
i wake up screaming in tears
and add another scratch to my face
my nightmares hit me where it hurts
watching someone i love die
and not letting me do anything
all i could do is watch, yelling
“ill kill you you hear me”
all he does is laugh as he slits her throat
and every time i see his face
i become so speechless all i do is breakdown
his face was mine, my anger
his voice echoing in my ears
“this is what you wanted”
“you wanted to kill her”
i hear those same words
to kill someone i love
i begged it wasn't true about me
my eyes burn with the image
an image i want to be rid of
id turn the blade on myself
before i do to her, never
i'm supposed to be a fearless person
yet i'm in fear of closing my own eyes