dear mother

I count the hours when I'm alone
sitting there with a thousand downers
looking down the neck into liquid sorrow
wishing for the end to come sooner
snap snap crackle pop, motha fuckin cops on my toes
preventing my strut,  head pops its  suicide by cops
my  Spanish is rusty but my English brutal
infecting your mind almost suffocating you
i know what its like having a broken family
father dead and  mother a coke fiend
your whole life you get passed  by
with no one ever noticing your dying inside
your killing your own family, but you cant see
the pipe is the only thing you loved but never me
you could have stopped the abuse and saved are souls
but your own selfish needs you always chose
so now I'm broken and all alone
trust and boundary issues to many to be told
fuck the doctors even say I'm dead and cold
looking and searching for any type of pulse
I'm un-human im already dead no need for a coffin
because i am the walking dead,