deepundergroundpoetry.com
close off
close your eyes
take a deep breath
lock the world out
internalize
build walls of steel
around your feelings
never break them down again
never allow anyone in again
leave this world as you have entered it
alone....
take a deep breath
lock the world out
internalize
build walls of steel
around your feelings
never break them down again
never allow anyone in again
leave this world as you have entered it
alone....
Published 14th Jun 2011
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likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 4
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
14th Jun 2011 8:11pm
this poem stood out from the others ive read on here today
enjoyable read :)
my only critique, and its just the way i see it is
i would have mabe just put .... after alone and not the 3 lines above it
if you werelooking for impact then maybe a space between the last 3 lines or italic
this is only my outlook on what is a good read tnx for posting it :)
enjoyable read :)
my only critique, and its just the way i see it is
i would have mabe just put .... after alone and not the 3 lines above it
if you werelooking for impact then maybe a space between the last 3 lines or italic
this is only my outlook on what is a good read tnx for posting it :)
14th Jun 2011 11:32pm
Hi,
Thank you. This was as honest as I can be. Short by straight from my heart. I changed it as you suggested and it actually have come closer to what I aimed with this poem.
Thank you!
Thank you. This was as honest as I can be. Short by straight from my heart. I changed it as you suggested and it actually have come closer to what I aimed with this poem.
Thank you!
16th Jun 2011 9:14am
this poem for me, is so relatable. i can feel the pain of unexpressed emotions. feelings that are locked away in a cell. love this poem!
16th Jun 2011 4:26pm
thank you, very few people pick up that this is all about the unexpressed emotions. thanks to Lyndon's advice I feel that it more what I wanted it to be...
thank you kindly for the reply...
thank you kindly for the reply...
