deepundergroundpoetry.com
birdless feathers
You took me home
to throw up in your garden
I left my feathers
buried in the dirt
We talked in zodiac clichés
and fell in love
with other people
Under the street-lit
speech bubbles I was free
fleetingly kindred
in the pre-dawn light
Come morning
you couldn’t remember
how I came to be
a ghost in your bed
Daylight changing
the shadowed dreams
of midnight connect-the-dots
into dust on the bedsheets
© Indie Adams 2015
to throw up in your garden
I left my feathers
buried in the dirt
We talked in zodiac clichés
and fell in love
with other people
Under the street-lit
speech bubbles I was free
fleetingly kindred
in the pre-dawn light
Come morning
you couldn’t remember
how I came to be
a ghost in your bed
Daylight changing
the shadowed dreams
of midnight connect-the-dots
into dust on the bedsheets
© Indie Adams 2015
Published 15th Oct 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 2
comments 5
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The author encourages honest critique.
15th Oct 2015 1:27pm
I'm in awe of this, it is such a subtle write; yet it closes with such strength, one feels bombarded by it.
"connect-the-dots into dust on bedsheets" absolutely magnificent, it sets a tone of death, sleep, retrospection, the lust and the lack their of, all in one simple well written line.
But then I must add that my enthusiasm for the ending should not contradict the rest of the poem which I think is superbly written. That second stanza is such food for thought, the fact that communication unlocks the feelings for another so easily and so mutually agreeably is just lovely. "Zodiac Cliche" * one of those leaving me thinking why didn't I write that?*
"Ghost in your bed" oh dahling, oh dahling... I know that feeling so well, never found a way to put it to paper like you have!
Indie this is truly a masterful piece of art, so giving yet simplistic in it's delivery.
Thank you for the read ;)
"connect-the-dots into dust on bedsheets" absolutely magnificent, it sets a tone of death, sleep, retrospection, the lust and the lack their of, all in one simple well written line.
But then I must add that my enthusiasm for the ending should not contradict the rest of the poem which I think is superbly written. That second stanza is such food for thought, the fact that communication unlocks the feelings for another so easily and so mutually agreeably is just lovely. "Zodiac Cliche" * one of those leaving me thinking why didn't I write that?*
"Ghost in your bed" oh dahling, oh dahling... I know that feeling so well, never found a way to put it to paper like you have!
Indie this is truly a masterful piece of art, so giving yet simplistic in it's delivery.
Thank you for the read ;)
16th Oct 2015 4:58am
21st Oct 2015 5:12pm
this is some very nice work. I appreciate the contrasts between flight and ground and how they are weaved into the play between the essence you are trying to maintain your slipping connection to and reality.
11th Nov 2015 4:49am
intense brevity! different from your other more-longer works, fitting in place just fine. good work
12th Jan 2016 10:54am
'fleetingly kindred,' - beautifully put.
We suddenly can be birds of a feather - and then not.
We suddenly can be birds of a feather - and then not.
