Why I Had to Die

While some girls my age
Had dreams of Girls Gone Wild  
I was grappling with the pain I hid
Every time I smiled
My soul had grown weary
Each day I lived a lie
So the spring I turned 21
I decided I needed to die  
It felt taboo to say out loud
I tried to commit suicide
And the circumstances of the event
Made the details easy to hide
Over-correction, car accident
Though I drove into those trees
But that Honda was hell on wheels
Woods-0 Car-3
So when I opened my eyes
And realized what I had done
I walked the path back
From where I was to where it'd begun
The agony and anxiety
My face scarred from tears
The blows the world had dealt me
Through those last couple of years
The pieces of me held together  
by bubblegum and glue...
Mentally, I beat myself up
It showed on my skin black and blue...
I prayed this 2nd chance
Would change my mentality
But the world didn't change too
And that was a cruel reality
Soon once again I found myself  
Putting up a wall
To keep out the pain
And save me from the fall
But bit by bit it chipped away
And the hurt would not subside
And I knew the time was coming  
That I could no longer hide
So just like that day in Spring
I again knew I needed to die
But the difference this time
Was that now I knew why...
I must not let the world take away
The essence of what is me
I can not let it make me bitter
Or hold my soul in captivity  
I refuse to be a victim  
I won't just lie and take my licks
I have to build up my resilience
Brick by unwavering brick
I'm not sure what will happen next
But I know that I will get by
The new me is excited to live
Because the old me had to die...