fucked up on the left

 

fucked up on the left
 
I was seven when I realized  
I am an idiot when it comes to pain  
 
I can give a shot and take a shot  
 
In the 2nd grade  
my friends and I decided to play ghetto rugby  
during recess  
Which meant a game with no ball on a concrete surface  
 
We'd interlock arms  
Shoulders overlapping shoulders  
forming squads of four or five  
And run into each other full speed  
to see who could topple who  
 
My squad and I were reeking havoc  
Then we went up against a squad of eight  
 
Five on eight  
Perfect odds for an idiot  
Let's go!  
 
It was one of those  
It happened so fast,  
Moments.  
 
Six guys laughing and dog-piled on me  
Me, on the bottom with the round of my  
left shoulder in the center of my chest  
face down.  
 
Truck driver's son that I was  
I wasn't crying  
I was screaming.  
 
Get off me you motherfuckas!  
Get the fuck off!  
 
My left shoulder was dislocated.  
 
At the emergency room it took three guys  
to hold my little narra' ass down to pop my shoulder back in.  
 
They looked at the x-rays after and decided it wasn't set right  
And had to tweak it.  
 
Same three men  
Same goddamned screams.  
 
Get the fuck off me!  
You motherfuckas!  
I'll kill you all!  
 
I passed out.  
 
At 13, an eight year old cousin was crushed and killed under the weight of a NYC subway car.  
 
I felt my left side go numb at his funeral.  
 
Less than a year later my dad was shot and killed by the police.  
 
I didn't cry at his funeral.  
But my left side was dead.  
I had to bite my tongue to keep from screaming.  
 
The other day in judo class my sparring partner slammed me to the mat  
And threw his 350 pound mass  
Knee first  
into my shoulder to pin me.  
 
It was twice my body weight  
And I my coach asked after  
 
How'd that feel?  
 
I told him  
 
Heavy, but I can take a shot to my left.  
 
 
 
Presented in the "Where'd You Get That Scar" competition hosted by rowantree