Dear God

Lost in shadows all my life,
But longing for the light.
I closed my heart,
Locked it with fury,
And poisoned my blood with spite.

No longer could I feel the pain.
No longer could I feel anything.
But rage,
Consuming everything.
And everything stayed the same.

You let myself tear me down,
To the bottom of it all.
So I could open up my eyes,
My heart,
I understand now, I had to fall.

I thought I knew all about You,
I thought I knew I knew!
So lost,
Had I'd known anything?
I feel I've been made anew.

This light that surrounds me now,
This faith that freed my heart,
I know You're there,
Every step of the way,
I know I can restart.

You walked on water,
So why should I fear drowning?
You fed thousands,
So why should I be fearful of hunger mounting?

You made this world,
So why should I fear becoming lost?
You've raised the dead,
So why should I fear the day my heart exhausts?

I can see now that all along,
Everything had its reason.
I know now,
For all eternity,
You'll walk with me through changing seasons.

I thought I longed to vanquish enemies,
I thought I longed to flee.
I see,
Now what I longed for,
Was for what You wanted me to be.