bright lights and imaginary fences

Youíve never reached the tips of my fingers
and honestly
I donít understand your appeal
beyond your Venus beauty
and beguiling smile

I remember the days I couldnít
even look at your face
without my knees weakening
like candle wax threatening to topple
under the heat of its own flame

Your presence was a burn mark
I couldnít rid myself of
didnít want to rid myself of
because you set my dreams on fire
and made me believe in a place
beyond loneliness

Time passes
feelings ebb and flow
in a fickle tide of uncertainty
I love you
I hate you
I canít look at your sculpted face
without wanting to smash this
world of mirrors
we seem to live in

And perhaps time healed
the rifts I made inside myself
with longing

Day one
youíre nothing

Day two
Iím cracking

Day three
Iím fucked

Because Iím still sweaty palmed
and school girl flushed
under your absent gaze
telling myself this is just
a lingering chemical reaction
of confused circuits in my brain

My imagination in overdrive
daydreaming about kissing you
in the office supply closet
away from the prying eyes of those
who would look down
at my burning finger tips
and judge me for loving
what shouldnít be mine to love

And Iím not even sure this desire
to hold your bones against mine
is truly love

My hunger less picket fence suburbs
more Adventure Time rendezvous to nowhere
though I know you could never hold
my dreams in your palms
and understand them
when youíre the good girl lifestyle
reincarnated into the retirement village fund
of tomorrow
and Iím the bad girl
desperately trying to be good
like itíll make me worthy of good girl love
when all I really want is an adventure

© Indie Adams 2015
Written by Indie (Miss Indie)
Published | Edited 31st Aug 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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