To Forget....

I...
Have forced...
all my painful memories
to the edge of my existence
and I made them jump
Into the sea of forgetfulness far below.
I...
want to forget....

I want to forget
the loss I felt from a Mother
who was absent in her mind...
Then took her life, and left me alone


I want To Forget...

The obliteration of a Father figure
who even on his best day...
was still nothing more
than a crack smoking fiend
who took 60$ from me the first
day we reunited.. and disappeared
back into the streets the entire night...

Oh.. how I want..
To Forget...
How my first child was stolen from me
Taken away ripping a hole in my soul...
All because I was said to be too young

I want to Forget
How the love of my life
Beat me...
within an inch of my life
I ... Need
To Forget...
The pain inflicted by my niece
when she blew her brains out

I HAVE ...
To Forget...
All the despair..
All the let downs...
and Failed relationships,
that have shined a sickly green light
upon all the cracks and fissures in my soul...

For...
If I am left
To Remember...

I fear I will be swept  down
into the abyss... with all my Demons

I fear they will gouge my eyes...and
tear flesh from my bones...

If I Remember...
I May spontaneously explode
into a million pieces
and each piece may
sprout a mouth...
with millions of teeth
That are dead set on devouring me...
Until I am nothing more...
than a memory myself
So..
I MUST Forget...
l must... force them off of the cliff
To forever be lost...
In the sea...
Of Forgetfulness
If I...
Am to survive