Siamesicide

Phillip and Richard Price were siamese twins.
Phillip was on the left and Richard was on the right.
They argued half the time and
Never had anything positive to say of
One another

They shared 5 common organs
The stomach, pancreas
kidney, heart and oddly,
they both breathed from the same lung.

This required that they alternate
between breaths.

Of the two, Richard was the compulsive liar,
insomniac and tended to be outspoken
and witty.

Phillip was sensitive, cried often, and was prone
to extreme mood swings and has always
had a fascination of death.

Five days ago, Phillip became drunk while
Richard watched.  Although they share the
same stomach, because they each have their
own liver, the affects of alcohol poisoning
Did not affect Richard.

At one point, phillip passed out and richard
considered not sharing breaths with his
intoxicated siamese twin.

One of the more confusing aspects of them
is that each man has his own anal cavity and
set of testicles that are separated by about
5 inches a part.

While Phillip was drunk, Richard drug his body
to a brothel and paid a hooker a couple of bills
to do whatever she could to give him pleasure.

Her name was Jessica and she thought blowing
a single siamese twin was a gasp and even took
in Richard's dick at the same time.

Jessica was the quintessential whore.
Two dimples and smile with perfect teeth.
On an average night, she made enough money
to pay for an upper scale apartment she rented from.

She was amiable, womanly and had a proud
almost virgin like aura that drove ugly men wild.
She made losers feel like real men.  She never turned
down a man and she was a kind hearted woman though
business minded.

At that very moment, as she was tongue deep
with two cock blocked in her mouth subdued Phillip subconsciously
flinched, punched, and jerked and would up punching Jessica in the head
right in the middle of her oral stunt act.

From that drunken subconscious swing, she was stunned.
Time and history changed three lives because of that one
simple motion.

She began gagging on the two dicks in her mouth
and couldn't removed them and began pulsating.
Her breasts began vibrating as if she was suffering
from electric shock.

Finally, her jaws clamped down in a panic mode that
had both twins in the kind of pain no man would
ever wish upon his worst enemy.

Oblvious to why he was in pain, Phillip screamed
"What the fuck are you doing to me Richard?  You dumb fuck!!
Can't you see I'm trying to sleep?"  Richard angered at his twin's
sardonic reply head butted him.

So hard they both passed out dead nearly instantly, except for their
erect penises growing into the esophagus of Jessica who by now
had choked to death.

The newspaper the following morning

Two Boys from Bradford self-Bludgeoned near
a Brothel as Harlot Chokes from a Brutal bi-Blowjob
Bender Blunder.

I decided that morning that I'd never purchase
a newspaper ever again.

I don't like the news.
I prefer making bonzai trees now.