Forgetting

For one terrifying moment, I forgot  
the smell of you.
Just one moment - but enough to make
my mind rewind, my body shake -
 
I couldn't find your skin in my memory.
For just a heartbeat, I felt dead,
arms pinwheeling over edge -  
you aren't good or even great
and wanting you's a big mistake -
and you're in love, and so am I  
(or will be, some October night) -
 
But
mine, as you know already, is a home plate.
I keep my foot there
every day,
but when the ball goes to sleep
I run the bases.
It's simply
how I operate.
You're not like that.
You want to stay glued to the ground for  
as long as it lets you.
 
I haven't seen her eyes; I know
the way they shine must make yours glow.
Perfect as she is or seems,
the smell of you will find my dreams;
it's stuck to me in sound and breath -
forgetting you scared me to death.
 
 
~
Age when written: 16