deepundergroundpoetry.com
She Means Well
This pen doesn't like to drag
itself across a page without a firm
yet tender touch of Muse
but she called today in bittersweet bronze
deep ash - blue and teal -
veil torn clear
for late light's heat to hang on the breeze
where waves chant in her domed cathedral
to summon her from our stubborn, wired
collective conscious that's ceaselessly drunk
like a tick reeling blind on only a drop
of reality
Seal bones and an albatross
splayed and sunken on the sand
offered up their pointless stories
as reminders of mortality
that even here
and especially here
we are ultimately alone
She called
stringing ribbons of my memories
along on the wind, knowing well
that some of them were strips of insipid
paper wishes written to her -
and she laughed with me
as my last paper heart
tore and fluttered away
itself across a page without a firm
yet tender touch of Muse
but she called today in bittersweet bronze
deep ash - blue and teal -
veil torn clear
for late light's heat to hang on the breeze
where waves chant in her domed cathedral
to summon her from our stubborn, wired
collective conscious that's ceaselessly drunk
like a tick reeling blind on only a drop
of reality
Seal bones and an albatross
splayed and sunken on the sand
offered up their pointless stories
as reminders of mortality
that even here
and especially here
we are ultimately alone
She called
stringing ribbons of my memories
along on the wind, knowing well
that some of them were strips of insipid
paper wishes written to her -
and she laughed with me
as my last paper heart
tore and fluttered away
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 15
reading list entries 5
comments 27
reads 1570
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
review
5th Jun 2011 00:42am
wow!
I am humbled at the elegant yet intricate impressions
the opening line line is devistating and left me softened like Swedish massage
I am humbled at the elegant yet intricate impressions
the opening line line is devistating and left me softened like Swedish massage
1
re: review
5th Jun 2011 00:45am
thank you! i was out camping overnight and this is what i woke up with running in my mind, sun beating into the open tent...ah, summer. good times. [:
NICE
5th Jun 2011 00:53am
A powerful, passionate, poem!
5th Jun 2011 2:47am
Eye opening imagery, coupled with superb word usage makes this a piece to be reckoned with!
0
re: A powerful, passionate, poem!
5th Jun 2011 8:09am
***
5th Jun 2011 3:42pm
I have a very soft spot for pieces like these, those trips to a world of personally symbolism do deep sometimes you're not even sure yourself of what the hell you've brought back. But there always is a personal meaning isn't there? And this one quietly screams of a something just under that vast surface of subconsciousness. Beautifully, Jesta.
1
re: ***
thank you so much, PTM. i had hoped it didn't come off as too personal because it didn't really feel that way when i was writing it, but i suppose with that last stanza it kind of shrunk the radius of influence. thanks again, i love getting your perspectives. [:
LA
5th Jun 2011 9:17pm
Stunning, I've never seen something like this where you start breezy, fall into cryptic capital and manage to pull yourself back out. Utterly stunning, Jesta. You've outdone yourself again!
0
re: LA
no waaay! well, miss. i'll only take that seriously because it's from the queen of said. many thank yous, madame. [:
re.
5th Jun 2011 11:12pm
re: re.
5th Jun 2011 11:23pm
...
6th Jun 2011 3:39pm
Knew...
7th Jun 2011 3:16pm
re: Knew...
7th Jun 2011 4:36pm
re
Anonymous
13th Jun 2011 4:44pm
great write jes*
think i've already read this on FB but its still a great read
think i've already read this on FB but its still a great read
0
re: re
13th Jun 2011 4:46pm
why thank you, Lyndon. good to see you on my (shall we say) more familiar turf. [:
re: ...
13th Jun 2011 11:49pm
Loved It
13th Jun 2011 11:49pm
re: Loved It
13th Jun 2011 11:52pm
Great
19th Dec 2011 7:17pm
re: Great
19th Dec 2011 7:21pm
so kind of you to say, Paul, thank you. [:
this one had a little face-lift recently too, so the feedback is appreciated.
this one had a little face-lift recently too, so the feedback is appreciated.
re: re: Great
19th Dec 2011 8:17pm
your welcome and I will read more of your work as I like your writing style :)
0
Elegance
17th Mar 2012 7:21am
Your words are vivid and superbly placed. I for one reflect back to tales of a time period very long ago. Awesome!
0
re: Elegance
17th Mar 2012 8:10am
ah, though i was very here in the now for the write, i wanted to get across a human/element connection... histories and mythologies are full of those. thank you for reading and taking time to comment. [: