A free mind.

Have you ever just wanted a free mind?

I mean, when you can just exist, and forget everything?
Not for the reason that you don't enjoy what you are doing,
but for the reason that it will allow you to do anything you want.

You know nothing of consequences, or the risk of your action.
The true feeling of free. It's something I wish I had.

I have anxiety, and with anxiety.. I limit myself, to the point where going outside could just be too much.
I hate it.

I love the thought of allowing myself to go on a trip, nothing planned.
Just go out into the wild, a couple of friends, some food and water, and see where it takes me.

However, instantly my mind takes me to danger.
Poison ivy, wild animals, crawling bugs while you're sleeping, getting lost, running out of water,
just so much possibility of suffering.. of pain.

When you grow up, you're taught about all these dangers, that "this happened to so and so", and "that happened to this guy"..
Yet, they fail to tell you it's most likely a 1 in a million chance.
Now you're afraid, afraid to be free..
Afraid to watch the stars while the moon is the only thing lighting your path.
the peacefulness.. the quiet.
Something we don't experience in the city.

Why am I afraid of this? Why do I fear of something that might never happen?
Why do I limit myself to exploring this beautiful place we call earth?

When I was young, I was never like this.
Any chance I had, I would wander off into the abyss, seeing what territory was unmarked
and what secrets it held.
I would chase the darkness at dusk.
I would stay out just a little past my curfew, just to see why I had one in the first place.
Not now.

I hope one day I can convince myself everything is fine, that stepping outside won't hurt me.
Like I did when I was young.
That going into the wild will be fine.

Exploring world.. Will be amazing.