Bones as Jewels

It felt like nothing at first didn't it?
As if the whole world had turned to static;
Everything already seen,
Everything already heard,
What hadn't been didn't matter
It wasn't coming any time soon,
If it would come at all,
Which wasn't any time soon.
A few days is all it takes to tell you that
Right? Or left, decision of the day,
Street or alley, safe? Get away?
Perceived enemies are always fun
Real ones always come,
Any time soon.
We'd run around a lot, broken shoes and boots
Hills are our thing but bikes don't hop fences
Depending on the language you speak.
It's one way to spend the time yet to be earned
When it never seems to pass in the first place.
They all had dreams, we the top class since first grade
Never wanted to be the same
Never wanted to be sane
I wasn't going to be the same
Who am I to judge this line?
School passed with little attention;
Barely any time spent within those walls,
Too much in old rooms.
Still thinking things could get better
Even if it wasn’t any time soon.
Self isolation becoming a necessity,
A value of solitude denying normality,
Exiled amongst society
With no one to blame.
They sleep, you wait
They wake, You wait
Alcohol, learning, drugs
Re-rinse, repeat, eat
Pass the time
Write, record, write, record
No play, no pay, no work
Every day thinking another day
Another day being a perfect day
A perfect day is every day
No change
Not any time soon.
Everything starts ticking as clocks stop turning.
Failing to notice any problem
Even when knifes become toys,
Sensory stimulation deprived,
All sensation savoured.
Burning flesh patterned with gouges
Akin to bloodied dancing in the dark
Becoming a mandatory ritual,
You won't change any time soon
If you choose to see bones as jewels.
More time passes between lives,
Second chances are delightful
To clean up the morning after.
Hairs clotted and fingers stained
A night time stroll by the sea perhaps
Makes a nice change.
Rancid streets scurried through manically,
Face obscured beneath it's mask
Body beneath it's heavy clothing
Pitch black in shadows
And afraid of light.
Walking towards the ocean
A vision of no view as motivation,
Music soothing the winds grasp,
Everything is colder.
Stepping across silhouette stones
With waves gently freezing your legs.
Find a rock far away from all but the sea
And lay upon your altar.
Eyes close; water, caws and buoys merge with the music in your head
And for a while you're almost free.
When the sun comes up, you stagger home and sleep
And it won't change any time soon.
The habit drops, along with others acquired
Time passes more slowly
Old rooms exchanged for lifeless ones
Lifeless rooms for exchanged ones,
Even some feelings learned
Not all of them bad.
The static moves faster than you realise
Life's around you shift
But still, you know
It won't change any time soon.