untitled

Hidden beneath layers of frivolous stuff of day to day living
and months of idle chit-chat about nothing in particular
I rejoice in my triumphant conquering of feelings squelched
I swear I heard faint gasps as debris cascaded upon it
never to return again
An evil HAA HAA escapes from my lips
surprising me as i thought it came from somewhere else
Then one day i saw you
I slowly
Tentatively
downloaded your bio from where you worked and feeling
more like a hacker than merely guilty
I printed it out
folding it neatly framing your image
I then sat back and looked at you
Sad meaningless smile, less hair, no glasses, and another year older
I mouthed the words "Why?"
not expecting an answer
ever
some things are meant to be mysterious i guess
the question mark lingered like a smoke ring around my head
and disappeared just as smelly as a real smoke ring
Feelings erupted exploding in a moat of tears around me
It's still there
It only rears it's ugly head now and again
I guess just like those mysterious things we are left just not to question
but just to know
it is what it is