deepundergroundpoetry.com
Sightless
You move me, beyond reason,
our link craves, vein on vein-
Lights off this once, I'm curious,
how darkness makes you taste..
Always, we are brown on jade-
finger's tip, now guides my way..
I find your heat, know it well-
heavy sack, and head in swell..
Pulsing strong, to my heartbeat-
gorgeous you, in hand of sheath..
Smooth-skin jerk, a tip of dew-
I lay wet lip stains hard on you..
Lazy-lick strokes, flick beneath-
scalding folds, and my soft teeth.
Hot-pant recess, I suckle love-
'n swallow heart & soul on tongue..
'Glance up at you, almost, undone-
my sweetest sip, of jeweled sun..
Taste, in dark, is pulsing bright-
want you watching, without eyes.
our link craves, vein on vein-
Lights off this once, I'm curious,
how darkness makes you taste..
Always, we are brown on jade-
finger's tip, now guides my way..
I find your heat, know it well-
heavy sack, and head in swell..
Pulsing strong, to my heartbeat-
gorgeous you, in hand of sheath..
Smooth-skin jerk, a tip of dew-
I lay wet lip stains hard on you..
Lazy-lick strokes, flick beneath-
scalding folds, and my soft teeth.
Hot-pant recess, I suckle love-
'n swallow heart & soul on tongue..
'Glance up at you, almost, undone-
my sweetest sip, of jeweled sun..
Taste, in dark, is pulsing bright-
want you watching, without eyes.
Published 24th May 2015
| Edited 20th Jul 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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reading list entries 0
comments 4
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
24th May 2015 3:59am
Seeing without eyes is the deepest seeing of all. The form is beautifully done; the content speaks for itself.
Since you have requested honest critique, I wonder if you need "on tongue" ensuing ' swallow heart & soul' since swallowing implies...you know what, never mind. It doesn't necessarily.
Since you have requested honest critique, I wonder if you need "on tongue" ensuing ' swallow heart & soul' since swallowing implies...you know what, never mind. It doesn't necessarily.
EXACTLY! ty! ty! Knew something *irked me when editing, could not catch it..
that word twice in one stanza- exactly what it was..I think the first line of that stanza is going to be changed.
Much appreciated critique! take care of that purdy brain!
sleepin easy now ;)
~d
that word twice in one stanza- exactly what it was..I think the first line of that stanza is going to be changed.
Much appreciated critique! take care of that purdy brain!
sleepin easy now ;)
~d
Anonymous
26th May 2015 4:05am
Welcome to DU!! I really like this enticing write.....very unique.....almost a mysterious tone to it.....like how you moved thru emotions thru it.....xo :)
Sweet thanx for the welcome, lady!
I am humbled by your comment, and was definitely in rompin' mode with this! always, always. *tsks & lol
smiles to ya ;)
~d
I am humbled by your comment, and was definitely in rompin' mode with this! always, always. *tsks & lol
smiles to ya ;)
~d
