Just a letter.

I’m expressing myself the only way I know how,
The only way that seems to free my mind.
I’m writing it down.

My mind isn’t a safe place anymore,
It’s rotting away.
I’m trying to get the other side but I don’t really know how.
A couple of months back,
I was in a dark place.
I’m surprised I even got out,
It was much bigger than anything I had ever faced.
I was convinced that I would soon be ending it.
I was just trying to find the right moment,
And I spent a few hours writing a suicide note on my phone.
Cause I wanted everyone to know my reasons,
I also wanted to go, knowing that people couldn’t fake shit.
That they couldn’t pretend like they cared or that they were shocked, I did it.
I wanted the truth to go with my life.
I sat on that note for over two months.
Maybe even longer.
I’m not saying I didn’t cry for help cause I did.
But everyone kept on doing what they did.
Even if they knew it would hurt.
And in that experience I’ve learnt two things.
The people you think would care… Don’t.
And the only person you can turn to is, you.
They also don’t give their attention until it’s too late.
But in saying this,
I was a fool.
I’m better now,
And I have found my worth.
Thanks to myself.

And I’m now hated,
For reasons I don’t even understand.
Cause I’ve done nothing wrong,
But maybe I have.
And I just think that I’m a good person.
This may not be the case,
I’m probably an asshole and just too blind to see my wrong.
Anyways this is more of a letter than a poem but all in all.
I feel better.
I’m learning knew things,
And I’m leaving negativity behind.
I’m not after any sort of revenge because that is just another reward,
That comes along with success.
And I will,
Just watch me.