deepundergroundpoetry.com
temptation
Temptation that a word that carry's much weight but can leave hate in ones heart. Temptation will have u leaving something real for something fake having you thinking u are a certain person u not or trying to be but when you mix love with temptation it leaves u breathless brainless senseless but watch what u do for something that ain't yours or ain't true cause temptation don't last a life time only a price time cause it pays to dance with the word TEMPTATION
Published 15th May 2015
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The author encourages honest critique.
15th May 2015 5:03am
Not to bad :) I don't mean to sound rude but I see you seem a little new. I like the idea still in the rough to me I like peons to be lined its a little odd to me to see a paragraph. Going line by line alows you to make words pop out and have more importance. Also I really don't like the usage of u for you, it bugs me. Don't think your terrible your welcome to look at my old old stuff and see how bad I was or even my rants, you just need practice.
