Musings of an Ex-Anorexic

Forever pretty.
Forever shitty.

An in depth look at
Societies depiction
Of sexy, of beautiful,
Of innocence transformed
Into a teen idol for everybody
To ogle and admire.
Young girls aspire.

Everything is fucked.

One standard tells one thing.
Says, hey, don't be like them, but
The glorified majority
In their blissful ignorance and envy and greed
Give an underweight anorexic teen
compliments in the elevator
Right after her ED appointment.
Waist of a 12 year old but
"Wow you're so thin,
Tall,
Skinny,
Symmetrical,
Conventionally attractive.
Admirable.
I wish I had a body
like
you."
Mixed messages.

The world is a false place.

When a society puts an impossible ideal on a pedestal,
Sifts through everybody else to find those with it and glorify.
Body worship on a fifteen year old model on the runway.
"Wow you're so thin,
Tall,
Skinny,
Symmetrical,
Conventionally attractive."
Goes to her head.
Goes into her head.
It's in all of our heads.

The world is a sick place.

Chip on her shoulder and now she has
A title to live up to.
An expectation.
The skinny one.
The attractive one.
The beautiful one.
Looks become more important than life itself.
Than the body keeping these looks going.
Than emotions.
Than self respect.
Fingers down an adolescent throat.
Meals turned down.
Hours of self doubt.
Body dysmorphia.
Are you with me?
Are you aware of the monster?

What if I told you
This ideal you want,
You glorify,
You glaze over in the magazine isle and on the television screen,
Cry over in the mirror,
Isn't even real?
Even the girl who has it
Is chasing, still chasing it, just as you
because youth is only meant for a season.
Nothing changes yet everything changes.

The demon of femininity and "youthful beauty"
Is only a figment of those
Who don't know it exists.
Enlightenment disillusions beauty.