Leaving Town

I was finally leaving the small town I had known my whole life, and I thought that perhaps the greatest thing I could leave behind were tracers of honest affection and genuine care. Even if it wasn't the same today, at some point in all its miraculous naaive innocent form, our altruistic love for each other had truely exisited. We had committed to loving each other- and not simply one on one- as a group- as a family we found along the way. I felt it just the same as I feel my lungs retracting to welcome in the poison. Each puff of my morning cigarette reminds me of the way I had only ever wanted to fit in. A funny sentiment if you knew me at all. I prize myself on being different, yet when it came to love I would do anything to make the ends meet. I lost all my first lovers becuase they started taking drugs and I was afraid of them; afriad of the ways they might ruin the lives of the ones I cherished the most. But I was gravely misinformed. Eventually I met a boy who would teach me to toke and to smoke, and I dug a hole back into their hearts. I tell you this now- that boy saved my life. I began to experiment with the notion of reality and self and I've come up on the other side with a very confident notion of 'I am.' I am a lover, a friend, an artist, a poet, and a universal soul mate to all those who need a helping hand on the harrowing paths of love. I wished for nothing more than to be the rainbow streaking across the sky in the darkest of their storms. But this meant I was always atrracted to the people who reveled in the tension, electricity and  noise of this whirlwind lifestyle. I've always had a soft spot for the under dogs. I guess I've always been the under dog too. But I've never let it stop me from loving the dark. You will find an unusal amount of brilliance in the back alleys, broken down sheds and roof tops where we hid away from societal eyes who would never understand we simply wanted to be together. And I don't regret a thing.